Catsteroseismology: Survey-based Analysis of Purr-mode Oscillations Suggests Inner Lives of Cats are Unknowable

Abstract

Catsteroseismology, or asterocatsmology, is an unexplored area of observational and theoretical research that proposes to use purr-mode oscillations to study the much-beloved but poorly-understood species Felis catus. In this work, we conduct a survey to measure fundamental purrameters of cats and relate them to their purr-modes. Relations between these fundamental cat purrameters, which include physical (eg. size, cuddliness) and personality (eg. aggression, intelligence) traits, and purr-modes can help probe their inner lives and emotions. We find that while purr characteristics tentatively trend with several physical and personality traits, more data is required to better constrain these relationships and infer the direct predictive power of personality on purr-modes, or vice versa.

April Fools submission, 6 pages, 5 figures, 1 table, 145 cats