Multi-Messenger Astrology
arXiv:2403.19749
Abstract
It has long been accepted that the cosmos determine our personalities, relationships, and even our fate. Unlike our condensed matter colleagues - who regularly use quantum mechanics to determine the healing properties of crystals - astrology techniques have been unchanged since the 19th century. In this paper, we discuss how astrophysical messengers beyond starlight can be used to predict the future and excuse an fraction of our negative personality traits.
arXiv comment4 pages, 3 figures, submission for Acta Prima Aprilia